When does a want become a need?

Do you feel yourself blossoming?

Something coming alive and growing within you?

I was sick for a time

Still, I have not fully healed 

but it is not like before 

Every moment in pain

Terrified to move too fast 

or laugh too loud or talk too long

The world was foggy

Symptoms exacerbated 

by everything that gives life joy

And so, I slept

In healing, I need flowers

Things that grow, Change

Digging into my paint and the dirt

Good things must grow

Life must change

go beyond stagnant and sick

I must move

A swipe of the paintbrush

Scattering the seeds in the soil

My hands and my child's covered in mud 

Our voices squealing with joy at every seedling

Every plant

Every flower

Every fruit

I need my garden

The desire to create is consuming

It is proof

I am not stuck or so sick anymore

My desire for flowers is not sweet

Not delicate like the blooms

It is me screaming that I will create